You’re not lazy, you’re burnt-out.

And so was I.

Burnout is a phrase that is wildly thrown around these days, another one of those wellness words that just seems to lose meaning. Looking back, I have experienced many periods of burnout through the years, right back to school days. I was never lazy; I was absolutely exhausted from trying to fit myself into a system that just didn’t work. Square peg, round hole and all that.

Although the definition of burnout is very narrow, specifying it to be work related, in fact, the World Health Organisation share a definition that clearly states “Burn-out refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.” I’d argue that most people I know and clients I see, are not burnt out at work. It might play a factor, but for the majority of those in my world, it’s the unpaid caring work, the unseen life admin work and the work to simply exist in the world.

We are mostly women, juggling perimenopause and midlife realisations that we are neurodivergent, caring for kids and teens (often also neurodivergent), and elderly parents all at once. We are trying to do it all, have it all, because that’s what we’ve been sold, but actually, realising that we can’t. We are trying to make peace with that.

Something has to give, and usually that is us.

So if you are reading this now and wondering, why have I lost my mojo, could it be burnout? Here are some of the signals that you are heading for, or have already hit burnout. (Just FYI, these are from my own observations and experience, not medical advice.)

Just not feeling yourself. The first sign of being out of alignment in some way is when you just feel ‘off’. You can’t put your finger on it, but it’s there, overarching everything you do. Playing games with your mind and making you question your every move and who the fuck you are.

Exhaustion, fatigue, tiredness… however you want to word it, but the kind that doesn’t go away with an afternoon nap or a good night’s sleep. It’s the kind that lingers no matter what morning routine you try, hw long you lie in or how many aromatherapy bubble baths you take (ha! As if you have time for those anyway).

Brain fog. You can’t concentrate; maybe you have found yourself googling what age early dementia starts and what it looks like. You rarely retain information long enough to actually action it, or going through the steps of a process is like wading through mental treacle. Your brain is just ‘fuzzy’, and no amount of matcha latte or mushroom coffee is solving it.

You’re a Negative Nancy. If you know, you know. Slowly but surely, everything comes tinged with negativity; you can see the flaws and downsides of everything, and your motivation has left the building. Interacting with the world feels like a constant barrage of disappointment, so you start to prefer to just not. Your mood may also be swinging like Shakira’s hips, but this time it really does lie. Your thoughts, feelings and behaviours are all on the fritz, and you’re popping brain health supplements looking for the magical system reboot.

Detachment. Perhaps a side effect of everything feeling so hard, but withdrawing from life is a sign that something’s up. In yoga, we have this philosophy of non-attachment, but it’s dangerous to interpret it as detachment. Letting go of our attachment to the outcome of something and allowing life to unfurl while we do our thing is very different to giving up and losing interest in the people, things and experiences we love.

My most recent bout of burnout was brutal. I had been running on empty with a series of stressors running over years that would have repeatedly hit “most stressful life events” lists on clinical charts. Global pandemic, job loss, a house move, restarting my business in a new location, multiple critical illnesses in my immediate family and the caring responsibilities that go with it. If a client were to read off my own life story to me, I’d be amazed they made it to yoga and weren’t a puddle on the floor. But that’s exactly the thing, isn’t it, we just keep going. We take on all of the stress and keep going because, really, what is the alternative? We are caregivers; our loved ones need us, bills need to be paid… There isn’t a chance to stop.

My recovery plan didn’t involve stopping, checking out of life and into a silent yoga retreat. It didn’t involve daily yoga classes, juice cleanses, naps, delegating responsibilities or endless time to myself. That isn’t my life. What it did include was recognising and being purposeful and practical with identifying pockets of time that I could claim. It meant letting go of my perfectionism over what constitutes self care, where and how a yoga practice or meditation looked, and simply doing what I could, when I could.

So that’s what I’m offering you today, a reminder to take stock, grab the tiniest mindful moment, take one slow, deep breath, roll your shoulders a few times or listen to a 5-minute guided relaxation. It may not be much, but it will make a difference.

Let’s do this, together.

Love & light,

Michelle x